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DON'T SHOOT! I'm Coming Out ~ How to "Man-Up" and Set Heterosexuals "Straight", by Benn Setfrey
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Benn Setfrey turns the tables and puts the Black community “on notice” for the sinful often-fatal atrocities that are perpetrated against homosexuals in his new book “DON’T SHOOT! I’m Coming Out ~ How to Man Up & Set Heterosexuals Straight”. Benn, an African American who has lived a very private life, risks public persecution by “coming out” to bring you his personal story of love, betrayal, discrimination, and damnation.
In his witty and thought-provoking style, Setfrey confronts the hypocrites, who sit in church every Sunday claiming to be saved while simultaneously condemning every gay man to hell.
Additionally, he shares the Creative Classroom Management Strategies he used while an educator for both Chicago and Milwaukee Public Schools. His tactics will indeed modify student conduct all over the country as he bends the rules by breaking the teacher code of silence. “If you show me 10 principals; I’ll show you 9 fools. How about No Child, Parent or Teacher Left Behind.”
Don’t Shoot! I’m Coming Out also includes a one-of-a-kind guide for gay men and men who feel trapped in the closet. The guide is not about “coming out” or being on the down-low; but more about developing a sense of manhood, gaining autonomy, and changing the paradigm on how the world views homosexuals and how homosexuals view themselves
Who will young black gay men turn to for guidance when their fathers turn their backs? We, according to Setfrey, have no MACHO gay role models and no rulebook to follow, but now that’s all about to change.
- Sales Rank: #4752481 in Books
- Brand: Brand: PageTurner Publishing
- Published on: 2006-02-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x 5.50" w x .75" l, .75 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 264 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Review
WOW!A powerful, revealing and strong read that's long overdue" -- David Kopay, 1st NFL Player to annouce his homosexuality
From the Publisher
"Benn Setfrey's book, "DON'T SHOOT!," touched my soul unlike any other book I've ever read. As a 30-year-old black gay man, I've read many books -- fiction and non-fiction -- written by gay authors who have attempted to strike a cord, but often their books miss the mark.
Benn Setfrey's book hits home because he's willing to reveal his own struggles and he shares with us some of life's lessons he's learned along the way. I'm not willing to honor someone's criticism unless I feel a connection to the source. Benn allows us to connect with him through his personal experiences.
It's amazing to me how we as black gay men go about our own individual lives, either afraid or unwilling to share what bonds us together. Our collective experiences growing up in a world that teaches us loving another man is wrong, is such a strong connection. Unfortunately, many black gay men have bought the hype as we continue to further alienate ourselves from each other.
Tops. Bottoms. Fem. DL. Masculine. Queen. Sure, these are labels, but they have also become the terms that have seeped into the mindset of gay black men and identify who we are. But are those labels all we are? Benn challenges us to go beyond the terms and get at the core of who we are as men. I repeat, MEN.
Many of us have lived parallel lives, yet we are again afraid or unwilling to openly discuss what ultimately is a common bond. In DON'T SHOOT! Benn challenges those notions and causes us to look at ourselves in a way we many of us have not have looked at ourselves before.
- What does it mean to be a gay black man in America?
- What responsibility does the older generation have to lead the younger generation?
- How do you find your soul mate?
I wonder what my life would have been like had I read Benn's book in my teens or twenties? Would I have continued to search for love in all the wrong places? Would I have been empowered to challenge my family's Biblical attacks? Ultimately, I believe the book landed in my hands at the right time."
Jonathan, Chicago, IL
From the Author
I am a native of Milwaukee, WI, but I most of my professional life was spent in Chicago. I now live in South Florida with my "significant brutha." It was the Florida sun, the sway of the palm trees and the rhythm of the ocean that helped to inspire me to set the record "straight" once and for all. I hope the book gives hope to every man going through "the struggle" and inspires others to stop and think.
Most helpful customer reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
DON'T SHOOT! I'm Coming Out ~ How to "Man-Up" & Set "Heterosexuals "Straight"
By Jonathan
Benn Setfrey's book, "Don't Shoot," touched my soul unlike any other book I've ever read. As a 30-year-old black gay man, I've read many books -- fiction and non-fiction -- written by gay authors who have attempted to strike a cord, but often their books miss the mark.
Benn Setfrey's book hits home because he's willing to reveal his own struggles and he shares with us some of life's lessons he's learned along the way. I'm not willing to honor someone's criticism unless I feel a connection to the source. Benn allows us to connect with him through his personal experiences.
It's amazing to me how we as black gay men go about our own individual lives, either afraid or unwilling to share what bonds us together. Our collective experiences growing up in a world that teaches us loving another man is wrong, is such a strong connection. Unfortunately, many black gay men have bought the hype as we continue to further alienate ourselves from each other.
Tops. Bottoms. Fem. DL. Masculine. Queen. Sure, these are labels, but they have also become the terms that have seeped into the mindset of gay black men and identify who we are. But are those labels all we are? Benn challenges us to go beyond the terms and get at the core of who we are as men. I repeat, MEN.
Many of us have lived parallel lives, yet we are again afraid or unwilling to openly discuss what ultimately is a common bond. In Don't Shoot, Benn challenges those notions and causes us to look at ourselves in a way we many of us have not have looked at ourselves before.
What does it mean to be a gay black man in America? What responsibility does the older generation have to lead the younger generation? How do you find your soul mate?
I wonder what my life would have been like had I read Benn's book in my teens or twenties? Would I have continued to search for love in all the wrong places? Would I have been empowered to challenge my family's Biblical attacks? Ultimately, I believe the book landed in my hands at the right time.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Michael
By Mike JC
just finished reading this great book a long overdue read for me and I enjoyed it and it spoke to what I have always thought. Some of it would be political incorrect to say but to me it is what I have felt about being a sissy and how we need to man up in more ways than one. It has been a thorn in my side to see these young men and older men to diss their masculinity and/or let their orientation hold them back. I have to admit that it almost got me because I worked and played with some of these brothers and eventually took on some of their mannerisms. I had to remove myself out of this environment to regain me, reclaim the masculinity I was slowly loosing and redefine my spirituality. I'm not dissing fem men or some of the peeps I hanged with in the past. I just know that wasn't me; fem was not right for me but I took some of it on to fit in and yes it was fun sometimes but it wasn't me. I see a lot of other brothers like me who have done it too we came out just being our natural masculine self but then twist it up a bit to fit in but that's neither here nor there now. I said I had to redefine my spirituality too because I was once one of those brothers who would sit up in church knowing what was coming out of that preachers mouth was wrong and just let what he said beat up my spirit and my self esteem all the while saying amen. Today that has changed and not only since I learn the truth that matched what my spirit was trying to tell me have been a blessing to me but to others who I come in contact with. I feel Mr. Setfrey and I are kindred spirits in a sense because I feel we share the same views on masculinity, sexuality, and spirituality. As a matter of fact the book he wrote is one I had hope to have written but it is a blessing he has put it out and given our young brothas like us and younger and older a chance to find a book that can speak to them and give them some guidance. Thanks Benn for a well written book that is informative and entertaining it was a confirmation for me and a blessing. I'm a grad student now and working on my own business.
Mike, 37
Philadelphia
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Enlightening for Parents of Gay Offsprings
By A. Johnson
After reading Benn's book, I am much more aware of what young gay children are going through at the hands of our churches, the society at large, and (God forbids) at home! As an African American woman, I have endured oppression as long as I can remember by our society, our church, and our men. I have been too busy thinking about my own pain to give much thought to the pain of our young (and old) gay persons in our society. Many of us believe that homosexuals choose to be gay,but that race and gender is not a choice, so in effect, gay people bring their pain upon themselves. Benn straightens us all out here and gives us a lot to think about when he tells us, Living gay is a choice, but "Being gay" is not a choice. Benn you have opened my eyes, ears and heart with your very provocative book. This book is a "must read" for all of us, gay, straight, old and young alike, but more importantly, for parents who are ignorant as I was, to many of the challenges that young gay people are up against on a daily basis brought on by the forces in our society that we whole dear, i.e. church, family, community and our government.
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